Saturday

I'm cool, you're cool, they're cool, we're cool. This is one planet, we all share it. Life is everywhere, this isn't Mars, you don't have to look hard to find life here, in fact we'll look hard to find you.

I have random thoughts, they're all connected, as is everything, but sometimes they go by really fast, like really fast, and sometimes, a lot of times actually, I never communicate these thoughts to anyone, and thus they are lost to time as they fade away in the back of my mind.

I'm simply complicated. I'm complicatedly simple. I'm me. Although I'd like to say I could care less what others think, but that's the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, I care a lot about what others think, obviously some a little more than others, but I will never stop caring.

I saw a lot of guys treating girls like objects yesterday, and the girls loved it too. It reminds me of the song "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics. "Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you." My point is that I don't think I could treat someone I care about in such a way where I would just blatantly dismantle any confidence they had. Like when I'm talking about the girl I'm sitting next to and I'm describing her on the phone I don't refer to her as "some bitch" I call her by name, and if I don't know her name I ask it, because I care. But anywho, some women like that, and I'm a believer in the philosophy of "Live and let live."

So I've been doing a lot of bad things to myself lately. Nothing serious, but still enough to cause concern. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I am a little unhappy with my life right now. I know the future holds promise, but I'm inpatient so I sit and think and damn, do I think.

I like to ramble, as I've said I have a lot of random thoughts.

I have problems, as we all do. But I like to solve problems, so I'm trying to solve this problem I have, which is finding a good woman that cares about me, and I'm having a hard time doing so.

I'm 17 what the hell am I doing catching feelings? I should be fucking, drinking & smoking. Well I should be doing it a little more happily.

I'm going to the military. I can't wait. I hate high school. I hate these teachers that act like they care when they would never talk to me if it wasn't their job to do so. I hate putting on a show for people, and lately I've been doing it a lot more than usual lately.

I'm still trying to get over this girl I like, but I'll never get over her. There will always be a reserved seat in my heart, mind & soul for her. She knows it, but she just won't ever see me the way I see her. And like I said, because I care so much about others, I want her to be happy, and if that's at the cost of me being unhappy, well I'm not selfish and I know what's what.

Anywho, I like to get mentally distorted, legally & illegally. Sometimes I'll go days straight without sleep. I feel like I accomplish so much. Sometimes I'll go days in my bed, and I feel like shit. Ahh fuck it. Like I said I have a lot of random thoughts, and no purpose.

So Happy Day to all my fellow creatures.